Shattered
by Dallirious
Summary: Visiting her father, CJ realises she’s not as strong as she used to be.


**Title:** Shattered  
**Fandom:** The West Wing  
**Characters:** CJ Cregg  
**Rating:** PG  
**Summary:** Visiting her father, CJ realises she's not as strong as she used to be.

* * *

For two hours she sat outside and stared at her coffee. The steam no longer rose from the dark liquid, and she'd hardly touched it. It was just an excuse to leave the room. Her cell phone began to vibrate against her hip for the fifth time in the past half-hour. But she took no notice, not wanting to admit that she was still tied to the harsh reality that had dragged her there in the first place. She could see Molly getting in her car and leaving. Now it was just her and her father. Losing concentration, her coffee slipped from her fingers and spilled all over the grass. She sighed and retrieved her phone from her pocket.

"CJ?"

"Who else would answer my phone Toby?" She asked sarcastically, crushing the Styrofoam cup with the heel of her boot.

"How's it going?"

"I waited till my evil stepmother arrived and retreated outside." She replied, pulling her legs up underneath her as she spoke. "It's been around two hours now."

"Are you sure you don't want me…" His words travelled off, and she worried for a split second that they had been disconnected. How her world would crumble if she was ever disconnected from Toby the way she was with her father. For years, Toby was her rock. Whenever something went wrong, he was the one to run to. But now she was alone. "Claudia?"

"Yeah, sorry I blacked out for a minute."

"Do you want me to get on the next plane?" He asked softly, trying not to sound like he wanted her to say yes. "I can drop everything right now and head to the airport." All he needed was for her to say yes and he would, indeed, drop everything to get there as soon as possible.

"No Toby, I'll be okay." She replied quietly, her words more for her assurance and not his. "My brothers are arriving this afternoon. We think this is it."

"I'm here when you want to talk."

"Okay." She managed to smile. "I have to go." Before he could speak again she hung up and tucked her phone back into her jeans. Picking up her cup, she stood and dropped it in the bin before heading back into her father's hospital room.

"I've been waiting for you." She looked up the moment he spoke, and found his crystal blue eyes staring into hers. "I thought you were just going shopping."

"Shopping?"

"Yes," He frowned as her went over the conversation in his head. "You told me you'd go do the shopping and then take Claudia ice skating when you got home." Her heart broke as she heard her name mentioned. He wasn't speaking to her at all, and yet he was in so many ways.

"I'm not Elizabeth." She noticed a pained expression cross his face. "I'm your daughter, Claudia. Mom died years ago, Daddy."

"But Claudia's just a small child." He took in her height as she stood at the end of the bed. "I understand she's tall for her age, but she's only seven."

"No, Daddy, I grew up." She tried desperately not to cry. He looked at her, but at the same time looked right through her, and that was what really hurt. "It's been a long time since I was seven."

"Where's Elizabeth, she said she'd be here?" He asked, showing the stubborn side that had flared up in his daughter on numerous occasions. There was a determination in his eyes that didn't make much sense to her, but she'd lost faith in trying to read him.

"Mom won't be here." His determination was matched only by her desperation.

"She said she would be, last night she said…"

"That was me." CJ broke in, unable to listen to what he was telling her. "I was here last night Daddy. I told you I'd be here again today. You have to remember." Tears were pooling in her eyes as she spoke.

"Are you a friend of Daniel's?"

"No, I'm Claudia, Daddy. Claudia Jean, I'm your daughter." He simply stared at her before turning to look out the window. She bit her lip as tears escaped and rolled down her cheeks. Without disturbing him she left the room again, heading back to the bench she'd been sitting on earlier. She retrieved her phone from her pocket and hit speed-dial.

"CJ?"

"I was wrong." She cried into the phone, brushing violently at the tears as they flooded her eyes. "I need you with Toby, I can't do this alone. He doesn't even know who I am." And that was all she needed to hear herself say. Those seven words and her world shattered into a million tiny pieces, her heart scattering along with them.


End file.
